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a place To Be

2/4/06 12:37 am

THURSDAY:
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i had am alright day at work, untill somebody didnt show up on time and i had to stay for an extra hour,i just wanted to go home and spend sometime with sara and brennan befor i went out. i was going out for ine of my friends' birthdays, kelly(my other friend chris b's girlie friend). they were having kind of a party at the popcorn tavern, wich is a nice bar if you like "smelly hippies". the band that was playing was actually really good! they played some david bowie, the meat puppets, phish, pink floyd and some blues. there original somgs were sooooo rocking! i danced my ass off! as usual no one was quite dancing yet, but as soon as i was out there for a bit others joined. i was happy to make it fun. during a set break i got to sit and talk with jenny p. she is going to school for social work so we had a nice serious talk about relationships and the path they follow. it was mostly things i've read before, but nice to get to hear from someone. i hop eit was a good talk for her too. she kept on apologizing for getting all social worker, i kept on telling her that was just what i wanted. i don't want people to try and sugar coat the probolems in my relationship with my wife. if we are going to work things out it will be tough for all three ov us(sara, bren, chis).

FRIDAY
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Salinia came up again this weekend. it's been nice seeing more of her. sara and her went downtown so salina could meet trevor, i guess they are getting along alright. good for them! gotta donate plasma in the morning, then we're al going to the zoo and to have some family fun. :)

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*planing for nice things*

2/1/06 02:03 am - All Hail Discordia

The Discordians. Fnord.
The Discordians:

Hail eris.

Fnord.


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1/29/06 11:36 pm

i feel the need to defend my self, even though it doesn't matter any more it would be nice if it did.

I AM NOT PERFECT

i look at the world and i see people trying constantly to improve it, i think this is great!

i believe for people to enjoy their lives they must put themselves first because existence would not be their for them if they were not here. I have been asking my wife to do this for years. I am very proud of here because she is finally doing it.

i do not view my self as a selfish person. i may very well be and not realize it, but i do not think i am. i wish only the best for my wife and child, and the ENTIRE world. there is nothing wrong with this. i have a lot of negative influences in my life. we all do, or have or will have them. each one of us has to choose how to deal with these. i often times try to see the best in people and to help them see the best in themselves. inadvertently this brings me down sometimes, and those close to me. i apologize for this but it is what i wish to do with my life. i want to make the world a better place one moment at a time.

i appreciate the help people are continually offering to my wife. maybe she should leave me, i wouldn't blame her because i am flawed. but i know as somebody that is always giving advice to people that you never get to know all sides to the story, and both people are usually at fault. one may be more at fault than the other, irregardless they both have the burden of living with themselves after they make their choice.

i come from a broken home. my wife comes from a broken home. we both have had good influences to look at. we are both angry with ourselves for things that our apparently out of our control.i am really bad at communicating how i feel sometimes, especially to people close to me. i do not want to let them down. sometimes this cause me to become mentally paralyzed.

i crave affection. i like to know that people like me, especially my wife. i really like it when my wife kisses me and doesn't want to stop. i can not remember the last time that i "made out with" my wife, i resent this and it hurts, bad. really bad. because it is the main thing in my life that i feel bad about personally is the lack of intimate contact between me and Sara. that's it.

6/19/05 03:30 am - To: the asembled guest

From: Hell and High water

would you please stop pretending like you care. I Believe that all would go much better if you would stop lying to me when i know you are telling the truth and pretending to tell me the truth when i know you are lying. Stop pretending like i dont know what is going on when i hear you talkimg in your priviate conversations. My hearing is selective , but my judgment is not!Even if you dont talk about me, you know i wish you did. I feel so self-less that i want to............WHY WONT SOMEONE HEAR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3/17/05 10:59 pm - birthday

went out a lot last weekend for my birthday(the 13th). fri nite me and sara celibrated getting our house. sat nite went out with co-workers, got pretty drunk, went danceing at this new "club" called cali. heard the usuall "what's that guy on?", wich makes me laugh. just because i was the only guy on the dance floor, and one ov the only people enjoying them selves dosen't mean i have to "be on some thing". pluss it was my birthday(it was after 12) so even if i wanted to be all fukt up it would have been justified. had a great time on sunday drinking n'smoking at the big BA's. was there for a while then went to 324 for more free drinks. got pretty drunk, didn't puke, it was great.


also i updated my Deviant art account a little....yea

3/17/05 10:58 pm - my name is Hara Akira

My japanese name is 原 Hara (wilderness) 明 Akira (bright).
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2/9/05 02:13 am

i've been submiting art to my deviant art account, yea! im happy with what i've been putting up.it's snowing. i personally like the snow, espesially in the winter. to me a winter with no snow just should not be. i took some delivaries to night at work. took three and got stiffed no 2 then later on a too 2 and got in tips $9, it evened out to $3 a delivery. i was content.

2/2/05 02:09 am - im cute scarry!(thats what im calling it at least)



You Are a Little Scary

A Little Scary!

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.



How scary are you?

2/2/05 02:03 am - and i thought sara loved me.....

HASH(0x8e6c21c)
You Are Ol' Drippy


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1/20/05 01:26 am - check out my deviant atr account, i just submieed some stuff there too...

the link is my hompage
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